Couples Therapy

Below are common areas we treat in couples sessions.

Esther Perel, a renowned psychotherapist and relationship expert, views divorce and separation as complex but sometimes necessary transitions rather than outright failures. She believes that relationships have life cycles, and while some can be repaired, others may naturally come to an end. Perel emphasizes that deciding to separate should come from deep self-reflection rather than impulse, resentment, or pressure. She suggests considering the following when evaluating whether it’s time to leave:

Have you exhausted all efforts? Have you tried therapy, open communication, and personal growth to repair the relationship?
Are you leaving for the right reasons? Are you seeking personal fulfillment, emotional well-being, or safety rather than escaping temporary discomfort?
Is the relationship still a source of growth? If the connection feels stagnant, toxic, or irreversibly broken, it may be time to move on.
Can you separate with integrity? Perel encourages separating in a way that respects the history of the relationship and minimizes harm, especially when children are involved.

Ultimately, she believes that while divorce can be painful, it can also be a path to transformation, self-discovery, and healthier relationships in the future. Our therapists are here to help you navigate through this difficult process.

Healthy communication is the foundation of a strong and lasting relationship. It allows partners to express their needs, feelings, and concerns openly, reducing misunderstandings and resentment. When couples communicate effectively, they build trust, deepen emotional connection, and resolve conflicts in a respectful and constructive way. Without clear and honest communication, small issues can grow into bigger problems, leading to frustration and disconnection. In therapy, you’ll learn how to listen, express yourself, and navigate difficult conversations, helping you create a relationship where both partners feel heard, valued, and understood.

Resources

Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson
Fight Right by the Gottman's
Podcast: Where Should We Begin with Esther Perel

Affair recovery in therapy focuses on rebuilding trust, processing emotions, and fostering open communication between partners. The process typically includes: Acknowledgment & Transparency – The unfaithful partner takes responsibility for their actions while both partners openly express their emotions and concerns. Understanding the Affair – Therapists help explore underlying issues that contributed to the affair, such as unmet needs, communication breakdowns, or personal struggles. Emotional Healing – Both partners work through feelings of betrayal, anger, guilt, and sadness in a safe, guided space. Rebuilding Trust – Couples establish new boundaries, commitments, and behaviors that reinforce trust and emotional security. Strengthening the Relationship – Therapists guide couples in improving communication, intimacy, and conflict resolution skills to create a stronger, more fulfilling relationship moving forward. Recovery takes time and effort from both partners, but with commitment and professional support, many couples can heal and rebuild a healthier connection.

Resources

Forgetting What You Can't Forget by Lysa TerKeurst
Podcast: Where Should We Begin with Ester Perel

Drs. John and Julie Gottman emphasize that intimacy and connection are built through small, everyday interactions that foster trust, emotional safety, and affection. Their research shows that strong relationships are not just about grand romantic gestures but about consistently "turning toward" each other in daily life. Key aspects of intimacy and connection according to the Gottmans include: Building Love Maps – Knowing your partner’s inner world, including their dreams, fears, and experiences, creates deeper emotional intimacy. Bids for Connection – Partners constantly make small attempts to connect (e.g., a smile, a question, or a touch). The strength of a relationship depends on how often these bids are acknowledged and responded to. Fondness and Admiration – Expressing appreciation, respect, and affection regularly reinforces emotional closeness. Turning Conflict into Connection – Conflict is inevitable, but handling it with kindness, curiosity, and compromise strengthens intimacy instead of eroding it. Creating Shared Meaning – Couples who cultivate shared goals, rituals, and values experience deeper connection and long-term fulfillment. According to the Gottmans, intimacy is not just about physical closeness but also emotional availability, trust, and the daily choices partners make to show up for each other.

Resources

Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski + Companion Workbook
Podcast: Where Should We Begin with Ester Perel

Premarital counseling is designed to help engaged couples build a strong foundation for a healthy and lasting marriage. This therapy explores key aspects of a relationship, including communication, conflict resolution, expectations, financial planning, intimacy, and shared values. By addressing potential challenges before marriage, couples can strengthen their bond, enhance understanding, and develop essential skills for a successful partnership. Whether rooted in faith-based principles or personalized relationship strategies, premarital counseling provides a supportive space for couples to prepare for a fulfilling and resilient marriage.